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I was up until 12:30 this morning, fiendishly tapping out the 50,000th word of my novel. Now, it is done. I have finished the NaNoWriMo challenge. I have won.

I now have a 180 page first draft of a novel. It’s still incomplete, but the rules of the contest were to write 50,000 words of a novel. I will finish it at some point, but for now I need to rest. Writing nearly 2,000 words a night, after working a full day, is difficult. I’ve neglected nearly every other aspect of my life while I did this, but now I can mark that “Must Do Before I Die” entry off my list: Write A Novel.

Check. Done. Next, climb K2. Well, shit…

Thursday was Thanksgiving, and my 37th birthday. I feel like I should feel old, but I really don’t. We went to Heather’s sister’s house and had a turkey dinner that was scrum-diddly-umptios, and then over to my aunt Cheryl’s for another one! There was so much food at both places, I thought I would pop.

It was great fun to hang out with Heather’s family – Patrick, her brother in law, is very cool and great to talk to. Even Seth, Heather’s little brother (and apparently a terror at the video store I used to work at back in the day) made a couple of dishes that were outstanding. Way to go, Seth!

On the way over to Cheryl’s house, Heather and I almost smashed into a big conversion van that decided, at the last minute, to cut into our lane. He wanted to turn right instead of left, and thought he could just poke his head out into our lane, and wait for a chance to make it over. All Heather could do is stand on her brakes. It had been raining all day, so the roads were slick. The brakes locked, and we skidded most of the way. Then, just as we were about to hit the van, he pulled away, and we just missed him. We were completely freaked out, and had to pull over to catch our breaths.

Once we got to Aunt Cheryl’s, we both went for our emotional crutches. I grabbed a glass of bourbon, and Heather grabbed a cigarette. We felt better, quickly.

We also got some birthday cake, and I got presents! (Remember, it was my birthday)

NaNo Wordcount for Thanksgiving: Zero!

However, since Thursday, I have totally rocked out on my word count, adding over 8000 words to my book! As of Saturday night, I’m up to 42,736 words, over 156 pages of novel. Woo hoo! I’m 7264 words from being done!

I can’t wait until this thing is over.

What? I’m still doing this?

Yes, it’s still going on. I can’t believe I’m still writing this goddamn thing. It’s a beast, and will never ben “finished” even when I hit the 50,000 word limit. There’s just so much story to tell that I don’t think I can fit the whole story in the way I’d want to. The following is an actual exerpt showing how I’ve had to leave in outline bits so I can move the story along.

[SPEND A LOT OF TIME HERE EXPLAINING WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THE BOMB WENT OFF. HOW THE KAISER AWARDED HIM A MEDAL, AND HOW THE ENTIRE FORCE WISHES HIM WELL. SCHMIDT EXPLAINS THAT HE HAD BEEN UNCONSIOUS FOR A WEEK, AND THAT ELIZABETH AND JESSIE HAD BEEN TAKING TURNS STAYING WITH DANNY. DANNY IS TOUCHED, AND ELIZABETH IS EMBARASSED.]

It is a first-draft after all. Putting that bit in leaves room for the really good hard-core stuff:

I landed teeth-jarringly hard on my side, my arm a tangled and sparking mess of wires, servos and shredded armor. Power systems failed, but backups whirred to life. As the lights came back on, the smoke from the burned out systems made hazy cones from the diagnostic displays. Red lights flashed everywhere, the head’s-up display was a garbled mess. I was close to total systems failure.

Hoo, baby. Red meat!

Anyway, my wordcount is 32,106. I have 117 pages written, and I’m up to Chapter 12. It’s cookin’, but I’m very tired. When I’m done, I will sleep for a week.

I was able, through a little poking around the Internets, to get the Zune to work on Windows Vista Ultimate RTM. Here’s how…

1. Download and run orca.msi. It is an installation package editor written by Microsoft.
2. Pop the Zune CD in the drive and run d:\packages\zune\zune-x86-enu.msi
3. Search your harddrive for “zune.msi” and copy it somewhere (like to your desktop)
4. Open the package in ORCA and navigate to the “LaunchCondition” table. Remove the condition row that says that the MSI must be running under ZuneSetup.exe
5. Navigate to the MsiDriverPackages table and remove the driver installation.
6. Save your changes and run the MSI.
7. Try to run Zune from the start menu, you will get an error saying that the OS is not supported.
8. Right click on the shortcut, and set compatibility mode to XP SP2. Make sure that “Run as administrator” is checked.
9. Run Zune again and plugin your Zune. The device should be discovered and the Zune should be ready for sync.
10. If Windows doesn’t auto-install the Zune, you will find the INF in “c:\program files\Zune”

Found On Craigslist

I am in the need of 1 male and 1 female singer on 12/2/2006 from 11:00pm to 2:00am (which includes 1 hour for familiarization with the material).

Payment is $300 cash, per person, paid at the end of the night.

Candidates must be punctual, sober, literate and fluent in the English Language. You will be expected to arrive at 11:00pm. You will be given 1 hour to read over the material which you will have to sing. The material is written in a language similar to Latin. You are not expected to understand the language or understand what you are singing – the words are written in English letters and are easy enough to sound out. I will be available during your study time to answer any pronunciation questions you may have. The “songs” may be better described as hymns (hence the reason I refer to it as material); however, I will require that you have singing experience as well as a “good” voice. You will be required to read the material in a poorly lit area (only candle light) – therefore I require that candidates have excellent night vision.

The material for both singers contains 13 verses each with 13 lines. Each verse will be numbered. You will wear a watch that will blink when it is time to read the next verse. You will also be required to wear a robe and a mask. Candidates should arrive wearing dark colored pants and tops.

After you are finished with the last verse you will be required to leave immediately. You will be escorted out and will receive payment at that time. Should you desire to leave on your own at any other time you will only receive $100.

You will be required to sign a confidentiality agreement. This agreement must be signed and notarized and sent back to me before the event (local banks will do this for free). The agreement will bar you from talking with others about what/who you see.

I require singers once a month. Should you impress me you would be offered gigs at future events.

If you are interested please send me an e-mail with a short description of your abilities, experience and any questions you may have. If I am interested I will return your e-mail with the confidentiality agreement which must be signed before further discussion.

I just saw that on Mensa’s site, their Holiday Gift Guide for this year, several ThinkGeek products were listed, including one of mine! W00t!

Jeez, what a day!

All weekend, I had planned on taking most of Saturday and Sunday and spending it getting caught up on my writing. My averages had slipped a bit, and I was falling farther and farther behind on my word count. At the end of the day, today, I was supposed to be at 20,004 words. Sunday morning had me staring at barely 17,000.

Three thousand words is certainly possible, but it can seem daunting when I would write a sentence or two, decide my music wasn’t quite right, and spend the next hour trying to find something to listen to. Pop it in, decide I needed to check my email, and then realize the CD was over, and I hadn’t gotten back to my book.

Procrastination is a bitch.

Meanwhile, I’m hearing tales of my friends enjoying the shit out of Gears of War and I’m stuck at home tied to my laptop. Damn book. I hate this book.

But I kept going. I’m determined to win this year, dammit! Besides, after checking in on Heather, I found out she was well into the 20,000s. I suck.

So, I sat and I banged it out. I looked up and there it was – 20,082 words. Hell yeah! Back on track, baby!

Ok, Tuesday was a total waste, writing wise. I couldn’t stop flipping between Microsoft Word and CNN.com’s coverage of the vote count. I sat and stared at the returns for the Allen / Webb race. One moment, Allen was up by a few thousand, then Webb was up by a few thousand. Back and forth, until finally I went to bed. Allen was ahead by some 30,000 votes, and I only got about 300 words written. Sigh. What a waste.

Heather woke up before me so she could get to work early. She woke me up, gently, and told me that Webb had pulled it out overnight, with some 7,000 votes more than Allen! I jumped up, and went right for the laptop! Back to the habit of hitting every single news-site I could find, checking for confirmations. Wednesday night, happy as I clam, I banged out two nights worth of words, and got caught right up. While I was writing, I opened a browser to quickly check the news. NBC was calling it for Webb! OMG!

More analysis shows that of the two recounts ever in Virginia history amounted to only a few hundred vote swings, so it was highly unlikely Allen could recover 7,000. Still, the Washington Post isn’t sticking its neck out. Only AP and NBC are “calling it.”

For the record, I am all for counting and recounting all the votes. I’m for paper-trails on voting machines. I’m for investigations of fraud and intimidation at the polls. It’s critical all the votes are counted, and the winner the people intend is elevated to office. If it turns out Allen won, that’s fine. At least we know for sure, and we don’t spend 6 years wondering.

Virginia re-elected every single incumbent. Every one. Jesus Christ, people! Grow a pair! Think for yourself! Fucking sheep.

Wednesday Morning Update!: What a difference a day makes! When I went to bed, 91% of precincts reporting, Webb was behind Allen by some 30,000 votes. Although the precincts that hadn’t yet completely reported were solidly blue (Richmond, Loudoun, and Charlottesville), I didn’t believe we had enough votes to pull it out. Wow! What a great way to be greeted in the morning!

That said, however, it could still swing. We still have absentee ballots to count, but I have a glimmer of hope that we still have the edge, there. Please, oh please, oh please, oh please.

Of course, if the Democrats control both the House and the Senate, we’ve got a lot of work to do.

An excerpt from Bill Maher’s article on Salon

1. When they say, “Democrats will raise taxes,” you say, “We have to, because some asshole spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton’s taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden.” In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can’t keep spending money you don’t take in, that’s not even elementary economics, that’s just called “Don’t be Michael Jackson.”
2. When they say, “The terrorists want the Democrats to win,” you say, “Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist’s wet dream, and nonpartisan commissions have confirmed that he’s a recruiter’s dream: theirs, not ours. And, he has exhausted our military without coming away with a win, the worst of both worlds.” Bush inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It’s like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies.
3. When they say, “Cut and Run” or “Defeatocrat,” you say, “Bush lost the war — period.” All this nonsense about “the violence is getting worse because they’re trying to influence our election.” No, it’s getting worse because you drew up the postwar plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebee’s. And of course Democrats want to win, but that’s impossible now that you’ve ethnically cleansed the place by making it unlivable, just like you did with New Orleans.
4. When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are “denigrating” the troops, you say, “You’re completely full of shit.” Remember when Al Gore caught all that flak for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don’t do that. Just say, “You’re full of shit.”
5. So when they say, “Democrats are obstructionists,” you say, “You’re welcome.” Because with a bad administration that has bad ideas, obstruction is a good thing, just as it’s a good thing to obstruct a drunk from getting his car keys. I would be happy to frame the debate as a fight between the Obstructionists and the Enablers. There’s your talking point: “Vote Republican, and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor.” A retarded, child emperor, but an emperor.

If you haven’t already, go out and vote!